Why Am I There? Let Me Leave…..

Talk to me. Tell me why I am here. Why do I come here once a week? Tell me why I am there.

Don’t engage me with talk of colors. Colors are just colors. I am a person. Why am I there?

Why do I continue to take medication if you don’t think I should? You should live in my body. Why am I there?

Why do you continue to ask me the same endless questions? I don’t have the answers. I don’t want to be there.

I am so tired of the same people and offices. Sit, questions and leave. I don’t want to be there.

I don’t feel apart of the world you live in. You ask questions about people who live in your world. I don’t want to live in your world. Ask me to leave.

Why do you pretend to even care? I’m just a 45 minute glimpse in your time. I don’t want to be there.

You can’t see me. You can’t hear me. I don’t want to be there. Let me leave.

The others will follow if you let me leave.

Why won’t you leave me alone and take the 45 minutes and enjoy the silence. Let me leave.

They will leave.



About crystallball7

Creative,some say "eccentric", dark sense of humor,sensitive. Never the same for too long. Running from lost time. Longing to be on the beach, at the ocean, New England. Afraid of life, extremely afraid of life.
This entry was posted in alter "white", alter's/colors, bipolar disorder, D.I.D., dissociative identity disorder, mental health, Mental Illness, MPD, multiple personality disorder, personality disorder, psychology, psychotherapy, "The Enemy",psychologist, Seroquel, somatization disorder, Straight Inc. and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Why Am I There? Let Me Leave…..

  1. aynetal3 says:

    Thinking here there is a big disconnect between you and the t. little t … she’s getting a big bad boooo from us! Thinking here there’s someone better out there for you. I know the matters between one’s own T and self are really between them … but is there like anyone that wants to be there? Our thoughts are find a better one before you get disillusioned with the field. A great T makes all the difference in the world. This part of having colors? Just T- needs a big persons’ coloring book 😦 Sorry for being frustrated with this one … Think you deserve more satisfaction!

    Our best,


    • I’m sure by now one or two have engaged with the Enemy. It’s in my nature to distrust people in the mental health field after over 20 years. It’s important that this time it works. My husband continues to tell me he is running out of patience with me. His job is demanding. I guess I am tired of being mentally off balanced, medicated and middled aged. Do Enemies ever say “You are doing good” or anything encouraging sometimes? But than of course I’d think there was an alterior motive behind that statement also and hate him worse. I must be difficult.

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