Summer

It’s been a while.
Enemy thought there may be something new to start over with.  There wasn’t.
I will take 4-5 weeks off this time.
He’s on vacation this week so I’ll slip an email towards the end of the
week.  I saw my PDOC last week and asked
a few questions, ended up not getting Ambien.
Next year I’ll not ask questions!
Got everything else and am set for another year.  He couldn’t come up with any therapist I
could talk to with D.I.D. experience.  I
just smiled and said that was O.K.

I am cycling more so than during the winter months.  I think it is because the days are
longer.  I am excited about the window
treatments we are getting I think this coming week.  They are plantation blinds and will cover all
of our front windows.  They are 2 ½ inches
wide.  I will be able to let the sun in,
but keep my privacy and let the dogs look out of the window all day.  I feel guilty when I draw the curtains after
1:30 P.M. with the dogs having nothing much to do with the rest of their
day.

Enemy asked me who someone was that I had mentioned during
Chat Tuesday.  I had already mentioned
her 20-30 times in the time I had seen him.  He doesn’t hear me.  He also asked that I continue to keep a “log”.  I don’t keep a “log” and haven’t a clue what
it is.  I received the bill in the mail
yesterday and it dawned on me that it sure is a lot of money for no results
what so ever.  I can tweak my medications
and my “moods” can delve into madness eventually if that is their plan or vicariously
suck the oxygen out of my brain until life is finished. I also can continue to live
each day as presented and see where it takes me.  I don’t think this is the first time around,
I just think I have to get it right
this time.

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About crystallball7

Creative,some say "eccentric", dark sense of humor,sensitive. Never the same for too long. Running from lost time. Longing to be on the beach, at the ocean, New England. Afraid of life, extremely afraid of life.
This entry was posted in bipolar disorder, D.I.D., dissociative identity disorder, Mental Illness, MPD, multiple personality disorder, personality disorder, psychology, psychotherapy, "The Enemy",psychologist and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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