Color My World

Art has become a time-consuming over load to my other wise curious life at the moment.  Chat sessions lately have been unusual which is to say normal for crazies such as me.  Of course my friend’s feel I’m not crazy- just “special” and “creative” which equates to entire genres of adjectives I prefer not to hear at this time. 

My latest art project will be that of “contemporary – abstract” in nature.  Yes – the crap you see and wonder why it is so overly priced and why can’t you sell your pre-school kid’s art for the hundred’s of dollars the artist’s are selling theirs for.  When I’m asked to go the art shows with this type of art – just the paint on canvas mostly, I have to focus 100% of my sanity to keep from screaming “What idiot would ever call this ART and what idiots would EVER pay for such shit???!!!”  Am I the only one who thinks a painted door on exhibit in an art museum (priced over the amount of college tuition for 1 semester) is asinine?  Why not go to Home Depot and skip the admission??? 

I did ask Enemy if he had a preference of what I should do this week creatively, so I admit I will join the parade of halfwits and create a canvas of craziness, however to give me credit, it is not “paint on canvas”.  My poor husband has accompanied me to several stores looking for one piece of square glass that has to be only one color and one size, and it is all in my head.  Poor guy!  He’s very patient with my projects. He asked me how artists ever make money and I simply answered “They die”. 

My project came to mind late afternoon yesterday.  It is very different and will take more of an effort to corporate three colors that I do not verbalize in chat session.  Colors are “moods” in my warped head.  The colors chosen are on opposite sides and cause a lot of conflict.  Last night I had a terrible dream about colors attacking colors, no words of course, I remember the color yellow and then I remember putting my pillow over my head and pressing it down as hard as I could until I woke up in the morning.  No one in their right normal mind would ever know what in the hell this crap is about.  Alters – I hate that word – “Moods” are colors and leaving me screwed up because of this art project.  I like pink and baby blue – the colors of Xanax!  I’ve been so compliant with my stuff; I’ve cut back on some med.’s and have taken no Ambien. 

May is an anniversary month and the fear is developing like a fine mist during the afternoons.  I haven’t mentioned it to anyone, but it is incredibly difficult to believe that thirty-three years ago something like Straight Inc. would continue to find me again and again.  Who will win?  Last night I won. I just stay quiet – people don’t want to hear about things that don’t make them happy or laugh. 

Humor Me:

I’ve had several solicitors calling our phone number for the past few weeks and have totally had it.  Sunday it started up again and I finally answered “What the fuck do you want?!!”  There was a long pause and then “I wasn’t expecting that….this is Brian…”

It was one of the painters who had come to our house to give us an estimate a few days before his phone call.  The poor guy!  To make it worse, we didn’t use his services.


About crystallball7

Creative,some say "eccentric", dark sense of humor,sensitive. Never the same for too long. Running from lost time. Longing to be on the beach, at the ocean, New England. Afraid of life, extremely afraid of life.
This entry was posted in alter's/colors, bipolar disorder, communication/repercussions, D.I.D., dissociative identity disorder, Dream, Humor, mental health, Mental Illness, MPD, multiple personality disorder, personality disorder, psychology, psychotherapy, "The Enemy",psychologist, Straight Inc. and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s