Lovely time during chat on Tuesday. I brought up the idea of decreasing one of my medications theorizing that it could be interfering with my ability to work with some of my moods. This idea was met with the most irrational question and answer waste of time yet. Enemy wants the name of my PDOC (psychiatrist). I said I would not give him the name of my PDOC. He pursued this subject for the rest of the session. He even used the “abandonment card” and I called him on it. I can’t make him see me. I asked if all of his patients had PDOC’s and he said “no”, which further increased my stance on keeping my personal business private. I’ve been seeing Enemy for over a year and see absolutely no reason for him to speak to my PDOC. He said that I’ve been talking to him in angles since I’ve been seeing him, which I have never heard before as to talking straight forward. I offered to give him a name of one in two weeks, but he declined. I thought it sounded like a good idea. My insurance provider has several in his area. The one I have is private and not with any insurance company. I do like the HIPPA law. The funny thing about the discussion, Enemy said months ago that he could easily find who I saw, that it was a small community, referring to the mental health arena. I know that and he knows that. What little leverage he likes to use with the abandonment card didn’t work this time. There was more I would have said at the time but I was busy drawing tiny boxes and it is more complexed than the triangles I usually draw.
Wednesday. I usually take a short nap after my husband leaves for work at 1:30 in the afternoon. Well, it was a nice thought and I do remember seeing the clock at 3:45 in the afternoon. The usual awkward feeling this morning of what day it is clues me in on why am I waking up now and not the afternoon. I have a few memories of yesterday/night. I ate two pieces of raisin bread with a lot of butter, ice cream and chicken. That is pretty much what I would eat in 1 ½ days, except I would never eat ice cream. I spilled water, probably while setting the coffee for today. Prior to taking a nap, I always turn the phone off and instead of turning the computer off; I just changed the password to one email account. I think chat sessions are stressful and by Wednesday I need a break, but I never intend to wake the next day. The oddest part always is the pets are always fed and taken care of. I just hate losing time like that. I am however glad I have TIVO. I always watch Survivor on Wednesday !!