What is new? My husband is asking more questions I cannot answer satisfactory. Perhaps because I have decided I am once again normal and it is they, as in the once “normal” human world, are the ones who are totally abnormal. Works for me! I mentioned this to Enemy two weeks ago and he in return gave me this mental health news informative brochure to give to my husband with a title of a book he thought my husband might be interested in reading. It’s titled “A Shattered Mind”. I will not read any books about D.I.D. or those written by D.I.D. clients. It is just too creepy to me. My husband read the book and accompanied me to my chat session this past Tuesday with questions. Again I felt like I was at the principal’s office, although I was not in any trouble this time, but I didn’t want to hear the buzz words associated with this disorder, as I am normal this week. I had the CD book from the album Pink Floyd “Pulse” and leafed through that until they finished discussing the topic at hand and then my husband left me alone with Enemy.
We discussed art therapy for a few minutes. He was fine that I decided not to continue. I canceled the second appointment when it became clear that my hands would be the object of demise should I attempt to go to the next appointment. Generally I take internal threats without merit, but this one had a more serious connotation to it I felt. After the candle incident, I am more attuned to my system, although again, I am normal I must remind myself as I write. Enemy is asking me questions I cannot answer once again, but I feel he’s asked the same questions before and knows the answers. I am tired once again and took two additional Xanax and 1mg of Ambien last night. I need to get out and I don’t know what it is I need to get out of. St. Pete, FL has been in the news lately because of the cop who got shot and killed, along with the 2 other ones all in the same year. Perhaps just the mention of my home town triggers me, especially in February. Who knows. I met my husband and best friend in St. Pete – that is what I have to focus on.
This is perhaps a positive move in Enemy’s direction or my consumption of just one sip, a small sip of Brandy Tuesday before chat session, but I felt a little bit less agitated in his presence Tuesday. I theorize this as a result of seeing the art therapist. Even odder? I felt he was protecting me from her. I am extremely in an odd place; however I remind you, I am normal!
We didn’t plan to celebrate my birthday. At a certain age, it is just something that just passes by. It was a full moon Sunday and everyone wanted an excuse to come over. My family and friends know I don’t want material items – I’m still working on tossing more things out. So they gave me consumable items – candy, liquor, and since technology is tiny or just applications, just throw that in as a gift! I am technology challenge so I think Xanax will be my new best friend while I learn how to read my Kindle as I pull up the directions for my new IPOD on how to program my new tiny stereo with a docking station for my new Pandora commercial free radio program. And when I’m through with all of this brain tweaking mess, I’m going to sit down and pop the cork of a bottle of new liquor and drink myself into a stupor!
But….before I leave my “normal” world, I have to comment of how well I handled myself during the full moon! Both female members of our guests had personal problems and confided in me!!! OMG!!! That alone confirms that I am normal for the time being!!! The reverse effect of the full moon!
Book: Water for Elephants by: Sara Gruen
Very good book – history well researched, pictures well presented also.