VOICES – Welcome to my world for just a moment….

 

I had a very disturbing experience Saturday morning, so disturbing I actually looked it up to verify I wasn’t having a psychotic crisis.  It’s happened a few times before, yet not as extreme and I brushed it off.  Hearing voices is common with D.I.D. – at least that is what a few websites say.  There is a distinct difference between voices/communication with D.I.D. and schizophrenia disorder.  I’m educated enough to know the difference. Living with the Bipolar Disorder most of my life, I’ve answered those questions forever. 

I was sitting in my dinning room, working on yet another jigsaw puzzle, T.V. off, music off, totally silent when suddenly I heard ( in my mind) loud words coming at me from no where.  I felt like I was a target on a shooting rang with an expert marksman shooting point-blank at me.  Black back ground, white words with no relevance of any kind to me what so ever.  It later came to me that you could visualize the movie/T.V. show Star Trek, the U.S.S. Enterprise accelerating through the black galaxy at warp speed – with the white stars coming at you. The words shooting at me so fast it was truly frightening.  The words again, were not of my regular vocabulary, names I had not read or heard from songs, news, conversation or T.V.  Some of the voices had European accents.  I theorize this because I have been watching foreign films.  I don’t think it happened for a long period of time.  It creeped me out for the rest of the day and I did not say a word to anyone. 

This experience did make me realize how I miss having a support plan put into place.  I don’t know if I would have spoken to anyone here, but in Texas I would have.  There are parts of me who will never talk to Enemy – that’s just how it works.  Once you find someone you can trust who won’t mislead you, yet will be truthful in a way that will be in little doses at a time, is someone you can work with along side with an Enemy.  I don’t know if that makes sense, but the specialist who worked with me (by phone) was so reliable and non-confrontational. She was a great balance while working with Enemy #1. 

You know, I can only talk to my dogs for so long before they fall asleep……..

Humor:  The only thing that helps at times like this and this took a lot of time to search YouTube.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWqxKqMV–w

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About crystallball7

Creative,some say "eccentric", dark sense of humor,sensitive. Never the same for too long. Running from lost time. Longing to be on the beach, at the ocean, New England. Afraid of life, extremely afraid of life.
This entry was posted in alter's/colors, bipolar disorder, D.I.D., dissociative identity disorder, Humor, mental health, Mental Illness, MPD, multiple personality disorder, psychotherapy, "The Enemy",psychologist and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to VOICES – Welcome to my world for just a moment….

  1. kate1975 says:

    Hi,

    I’m sorry that this was so disturbing. I think that is understandable. I hear inner parts talking in my head, sometimes very loud, other times like hearing someone talking far away. Other times they talk to me like thoughts, I think they do that because it is easier to get me to do something if they make me think it is just a random thought or desire going through my mind. Good and healing thoughts to you.

    Kate

    • Hi Kate, Thank you. While growing up I was unable to speak about what was happening. So it goes with therapy, authoritve figure trying to establish communication with those who were never meant to speak to the “human” world as they view it. The strongest thoughts – to sleep longer and longer after each session. The younger thoughts are shunned to silence. Dreams are a way of communicationthat are less aggressive. Duffy

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