WTF – Male Gynecologist – Craziest Yet

What the fuck???  I cannot believe the questions the OB-GYN doctor was asking me and then lecturing me on!  I think I am going to start lying from now on.  Exercising is a top subject when you are only wearing a gown and vulnerable as in not bolting out of the room screaming.  No, I do not prefer to exercise at this time.  “Do you know how important it is for the mind?”  I think, do you really want to discuss MY MIND????  Exercise just ain’t going to cut it buddy!!!  He goes on about memory loss at 50 and counting, I just wanted to stand up in the stirrups and strangle the guy!  Good Lord!!  Granted I haven’t seen a male OBGYN in years, so the next question was new – “have my nipples always been pointed outward?”  What the fuck???  In 22 days I’ll be 50 and no one has ever said that and I wouldn’t know what to look for, what the hell???  Has your dick always been pointed left??  I just don’t get it.  I have had so many mammograms, what’s with the nipples?  I barely have breasts at my age and now am happy that I weigh 102 pounds.  Then he starts with some spiel about the statistics of heart disease, breast cancer and muscle something and I just lost it and told him I just really couldn’t care less.  He stopped and looked at me like Enemy has a few times.  Really – I don’t give a damn how I die.  I just wanted him to go away!  Do they get it?  I’m naked; I want you out of this tiny room now and shut the fuck up!  What part of this don’t you get???  So, that was before the second part of the exam!!!  Next, has anyone told you that you have fibroid something?  Don’t know; look in my frickin chart ass hole!!  Can you feel that??  Um…could that be your hand???  Um…at least I hope that’s what it is!!!  Where is this dissociation when you need it???  Good to know – I have small ovaries.  Then the infamous small talk –“are you from Denver?  Why did you leave Florida?”  Because they let me escape!  I’m all done and he comes back to pick up some ridicules form supposedly the insurance company wants you to fill out – I no longer will fill out invasive questions – and he looks at me again you know that look.  I just tell him I am not completing insurance forms.  I have to go back in a week for a sonogram, probably looking for brain matter.  I think I’ll take my afternoon Xanax early that day.

I think I’m going to email and call all of my friends and ask if they want to be lectured about exercising while naked.  The positive outcome, I just had my Ambien prescription refilled!!!

Yeah- just a tad bit pissed off about being lectured in the nude – don’t know why.  My husband would be on the couch for weeks and no sex for months if he pulled a stunt like that one!!!!

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About crystallball7

Creative,some say "eccentric", dark sense of humor,sensitive. Never the same for too long. Running from lost time. Longing to be on the beach, at the ocean, New England. Afraid of life, extremely afraid of life.
This entry was posted in bipolar disorder, D.I.D., dissociative identity disorder, Humor, mental health, Mental Illness, MPD, multiple personality disorder, psychology, psychotherapy, "The Enemy",psychologist and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to WTF – Male Gynecologist – Craziest Yet

  1. smoldering wicks says:

    I’m so sorry! Yuck…

  2. shame says:

    As suicidal as I am, I couldn’t stop laughing. Sorry it’s at your expense. What an asshole!

    Taking your foot out of the stirrup and a good kick may have knocked some sense into him. Well, maybe not. Did he recently have a lobotomy? Maybe all his previous patients have beat his brain in a bit.

    jo

    • Dr. Nipples has something up his ass – that’s for sure! My husband said he was glad I didn’t tell Dr. Nipples that exercise was the least of my concerns at the moment. How do you exercise nipples??? I need to ask him – too funny!

  3. Fibroids are not dangerous. And I understand the medical relevance of the nipple question, but if you have had a mammogram then it is not a worry. Not at all. Don’t let him rattle your cage. Easier said than done, I know. I suppose if I were his patient he would ask me if my boobs have always been practically under my arms? Jeez, I HATE having to go to a doctor. FOR ANYTHING. It’s almost like they WANT something to be wrong. I hate that kind of thing. I’m guessing you probably understand.

    I’m sorry you had a stressful experience. I know how bad that sucks. Which is why I procrastinate routine checks and mostly only go if I get sick or suspect that something is wrong. Not the healthiest way to do things, but between my problems and the way medicine is conducted, it’s all I can manage. I’m happy for you that you got a checkup. Good job for taking care of yourself!!

    • Thank you! He put me on the defense the minute he sat down and started on the “Personal Trainer” lecture. I’m sitting in a gown, you know the routine, and he thinks I came there to strip down to nothing and to discuss the merits of exercising? It was incredibly a long time before he started the exam when I noticed he was hovering over my breast. I’m not modest and prefer male’s as physicians, but this was an appointment that went from bad to worse. The worst? The troublesome pain for the past 1-2 months? Went away after I made the appointment! An alter thing as well as everything else probably. So it’s a tie – who is crazier – he or I?

  4. kate1975 says:

    So sorry. What a total creep. Well you have boundaries and he doesn’t, I think that makes you saner. Good and healing thoughts to you.

    Kate

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