I love to watch birds fly in V-formations and socialize in general. Pelicans are so cool when they dive into the ocean and catch fish in their bills (beak & throat). It’s not unusual if I’m standing close to a door or outside and hear a flock of Canadian Geese fly by for me to look at them, they are so hypnotizing. We have lived here (CO) for over eleven years and I still enjoy watching the geese fly. Perhaps this is why my previous Enemy said I have a dark sense of humor.
During Christmas Eve we were having guests over for dinner. My friend came over early with Champaign and immediately opened it and poured a glass for both of us. I said “no” because I may have or not eaten that morning and I really don’t like feeling like I’m in a fog, especially after Chat fucking Session on Tuesday. He insisted, so I started with a very small glass. It is a known fact that I am a “light weight” and I am very humorous in two very different ways. By the time my daughter and her still naïve boyfriend came over I was feeling good. The four of us were in the kitchen when I heard the Geese coming, and I quickly went to open the door and yelled “Get the gun! The Geese are coming!!” The boyfriend looked so fucking alarmed! He asked “You don’t have a gun, do you???” My daughter and friend were conversing and briefly looked at him and said “Of course not” and went on with their conversation. I of course closed the door and went over to him and told him all about the Goose we had shot, but couldn’t eat because of the bullet going into the breast, which tasted like metal. I of course couldn’t come up with the gun’s name (Smith and Wesson) because by then I was slurring the Smith part a little, he asked if it was a “Smith and Wesson” and I said “yes” it had a bullet, not what a shot-gun had because it would have had too many bullet pellets.” He again asked if we had a gun, looking over at my daughter and friend who were ignoring us as they poured more alcohol. It truly looked like he was a bit uncomfortable. I tend to go into great detail which makes the dialogue more convincing. I did tell him that my husband kept the gun locked up because he felt it was unsafe to have a gun around the house. I’m totally intelligent when I’m drinking, could be why they keep insisting to pour me a second drink. They always cut me off at two, which is fine with me because I hate feeling fogged in and can’t hear myself talking. I realized yesterday that this poor guy perhaps still thinks we kill geese for dinner – gross! I asked my husband to straighten this out as I am too proper to bring up the subject. Some people think about guns being in a depressed patients hands!
Abba “The winner takes it all, the looser has to follow”. Humor.