I am so ticked off about Chat Session today. What is the point about asking about past Christmases? This was the umpteenth time he brought it up! Why??? I was raised in a fucked up family, what is he trying to do? Induce bad memories that I have already forgotten for a damn good reason? Really not going there. We lived in an exclusive neighborhood, tour buses would go through our neighborhood twice a night to see the houses all lit up – end of story. Our house started that way, but when my father became an alcoholic and couldn’t keep a job and my mother took her disgust out on me. Christmas and all other holidays were up in the air. What looks pretty on the outside of the house, doesn’t necessarily look good on the inside. That is so in the past, why the fuck does Enemy keep asking about Christmas when I honestly do not remember much after I was eight years old??
Then he keeps asking what my plans are for our Christmas. He must have asked several times. I gave him the same answer. It was like he was trying to trip me up. I am not there to discuss Christmas as I am doing well and am not depressed as he knows. Only I know the truth of what my plans are after the holidays. I just wish he would leave me alone. I wish I could verbalize this when he continues to bother me with the questions, all the questions he asks that irritates me.
I just want to say “Leave me alone, leave me alone, leave me alone, and leave me alone!!!”