Just Passing By

Sleep still eludes me.  I don’t think if I took a handful of what ever is convenient, I would capture enough sleep to catch up.  I will not be able to take my back up sleep inducer tonight due to my husband coming home early in the evening.  Apparently I am still seeking any candy that is in the house when I am asleep after I’ve taken 3-4 Xanax.  It’s a dead give-away when he sees the wrappers laying on the night stand or floor.  He may be getting wise to the hic-ups I have in the morning.  Honestly, I wonder if the dogs are eating the candy – they are only tiny snack size and I would only eat one or two once in a great while when I’m awake.  I am very conscious of my weight.  I now weigh 100 pounds or so and believe that is a healthy weight for me at 5’6” tall.  Family and friends have stopped commenting on my weight as I look healthy and not at all anorexic.

Chat session went well yesterday.  The darker days seem calming.  I felt quieter if that makes any sense.  Enemy was intrigued with the dream of the purple words in a book I dreamt of last week.  I was mildly interested at best.  I followed the conversation, but again, I was perhaps tired from lack of sleep.  I’m at the point of blankly staring out of windows a lot of my time the past few days.  I did surprise myself during chat session however – some how the evil stuffed animal subject was brought up and we discussed them and I brought up that I would like the paper and pencils, etc.  I would never bring something like that up, but I did which surprised me.  Last week I could have I would have thought as I drank about 2 shots of Brendan’s an hour or two before I went in, but I was just chatty if I can remember correctly.  I’m sure he couldn’t tell.

I’m excited about a project I’ve started which involves all of my friends and family.  It makes me feel so special that they are all contributing to my cause, I just never thought they would rally so much and so generously.  I can’t expose the project until December 7th when I will complete it.  It does have to do with mental illness and the holidays.  It will keep me focused to keep myself from staring out of the windows for too long.

(Lyrics by James Seals; music by James Seals & Dash Crofts, 1973)
Life, so they say, is but a game and we let it slip away.
Love, like the Autumn sun, should be dyin’ but it’s only just begun.
Like the twilight in the road up ahead, they don’t see just where we’re goin’.
And all the secrets in the Universe, whisper in our ears
And all the years will come and go, take us up, always up.
We may never pass this way again. We may never pass this way again.
We may never pass this way again.

Dreams, so they say, are for the fools and they let ’em drift away.
Peace, like the silent dove, should be flyin’ but it’s only just begun.
Like Columbus in the olden days, we must gather all our courage.
Sail our ships out on the open sea. Cast away our fears
And all the years will come and go, and take us up, always up.
We may never pass this way again. We may never pass this way again.
We may never pass this way again.

So, I wanna laugh while the laughin’ is easy. I wanna cry if it makes it worthwhile.
We may never pass this way again, that’s why I want it with you.
‘Cause, you make me feel like I’m more than a friend. Like I’m the journey and you’re the journey’s end.
We may never pass this way again, that’s why I want it with you, baby.

We may never pass this way again. We may never pass this way again.
We may never pass this way again. We may never pass this way again.

 

 

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About crystallball7

Creative,some say "eccentric", dark sense of humor,sensitive. Never the same for too long. Running from lost time. Longing to be on the beach, at the ocean, New England. Afraid of life, extremely afraid of life.
This entry was posted in bipolar disorder, D.I.D., dissociative identity disorder, Dreams, mental health, Mental Illness, MPD, multiple personality disorder, psychology, psychotherapy, "The Enemy",psychologist and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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