Colors of Life With A Question

Chat is progressing.  We talked about the reason of life.  I have a few theories.  Nothing that hasn’t been written, preached, painted on canvas or magnified in a therapist’s office a thousand times before.  It would have been nice when I was born for “my purpose in life” to have been wrapped up in a scroll around the umbilical cord and handed to me when I turned 18.  I think that would have been the best idea yet.  I’d stick around until I accomplished what ever it is I’m here to do.  I’m really drawing a blank on this one though.

Enemy gave me a pad of paper and color pencils to do what ever I wanted to do last week.  It enabled me to ask questions without so much apprehension, although I only draw lines.  It was less stressful having my mind free from looking around the office and window and at the freaky stuffed animals.  I swear I’m going to flick lighted matches at them some day.  My friend said I should bring in a seam ripper and start ripping them to shreds. I am not a hostile person.  I was asked if the time change this coming Sunday will be a problem – some of his clients have problems with the days getting shorter – I said “no”.  I already draw the drapes and close the blinds before the sun goes down when ever the mood strikes me.  I find myself counting the time down so that I can go to my bedroom and go to sleep at a reasonable time.  There is one thing about chat that I would change – consistency.  I don’t like not knowing what I’m going to do for the 45 minutes before going there.


About crystallball7

Creative,some say "eccentric", dark sense of humor,sensitive. Never the same for too long. Running from lost time. Longing to be on the beach, at the ocean, New England. Afraid of life, extremely afraid of life.
This entry was posted in bipolar disorder, D.I.D., dissociative identity disorder, mental health, Mental Illness, MPD, multiple personality disorder, psychology, psychotherapy, "The Enemy",psychologist and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Colors of Life With A Question

  1. thanks for trying to help a cause that is almost a non issue until something horrific happens-take a school shooting like colombine or ver tec, after all the mess is cleaned up everybody is ever shocked ,they say that they knew “this was bound to happen.” i have a long history of sever mental illness, i rarely am able to leave my house, not because i am afraid for my safety but in the place i live i am the minority, that mixed with the history of violence and paralyzing case of PTSD. at one moment im am calm and collected, but all it takes is a threat, a uncomfortable feeling of no safety, i am entering my 30’s and things never seem to improve. i dont leave my house because without some kind of supervision, no1 is safe i feel like a bomb that im trying to diffuse. hopefully someday life can be how it was when i was younger, but trust me i’m not holding my breath:)

  2. Pingback: Colors of Life With A Question (via Crystallball7′s Blog) « dylanmotsinger

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